Why have I lost my zest for life? Nobody can be cheerful and upbeat all of the time. Nobody has limitless energy and can jump out of bed every morning. But I despise it when I’m in one of my sad, apathetic, self-pitying moods and can’t get myself out of it. I despise it even more since it distorts my vision of what is going on around me, preventing me from enjoying my family as much as I would like.
It’s all very well to talk about sensuality and living our best lives. But how do I even begin to do any of that when I don’t even want to get off the couch?
When I can’t even bring myself to change out of my pajamas in the morning because all I want to do is hang out at home with the kids and do housework?
What causes us to lose our zest for life?
We usually lose our spark after a long or difficult day at work or home. When we are tired, bored, under-stimulated, or unmotivated, our zeal can fade. It can manifest as a ‘crash’ following the completion of a stressful project or event. Everyone has different triggers.
Whatever our trigger is, there must be something we can do other than wait helplessly for our ‘zest’ to return. After all, we are responsible for our pleasure. Enough with blaming others. It’s time to take charge of our life.
Recognize and accept that we have lost our zest for life.
First, we must own and accept that we have lost our zest for life. Often, merely becoming aware of what we’re feeling helps us avoid being consumed by it.
Recognizing that we are unhappy is half the battle. Being unhappy is not a sign of weakness; rather, it indicates that there is room for improvement. It is pointless to act as if everything is fine when it is not.
Some mothers declare that the delight of caring for their families and serving others fills them to the brim. I’m not one of those mothers, and I’m sure you’re not either. We’d like more. More is required. We are more than simply moms, wives, and workers… we are women! We only need to rediscover the energy and motivation that got lost along the road.
1. Recall who you were before you turned into an automaton.
I used to go out for weekend brunches with friends and occasionally by myself simply to zone out and people-watch. I’d spend an entire day driving through the mountains just for the sight. I used to paint, plant (not very well), and go to Saturday morning markets. I no longer do any of this.
I used to be charming and clever. Now I can scarcely think because of my brain fog, and when I’m extremely sleepy, I can’t even thread a phrase together properly.
What were you like before the responsibilities of being a wife and mother took over? Stop reading for a while and think about her, the one you think you’ve lost. Now, write down who she was and what she used to enjoy doing.
2. What is the one most critical thing you can do RIGHT NOW to resurrect the “old you”?
I understand what you’re thinking because I had identical feelings. My first thoughts were, ‘I need to make an effort to dress good, sleep enough every night, exercise, eat better, recommence all my interests, and go out with friends again…’ Amiga, please be patient. If you try to do everything on top of all the other duties you now have, you will fail miserably. Failing will just intensify your dissatisfaction with yourself and enhance your demotivation. Choose one thing you can do RIGHT NOW and when you’ve mastered it, move on to the next. Gary Keller wrote a book called ‘The One Thing.’ He talks about focusing on and doing the one thing that will make a difference in your life right now. It made perfect sense to me.
3. Make a list of your life’s accomplishments.
Do you feel overburdened? Have you taken on too many responsibilities? Have you overexerted yourself? Is your schedule so jam-packed that you can’t even take a 5-minute bathroom break?
Have you ignored yourself and your well-being to help those around you? You’ll notice that when you have too much on your plate and are overwhelmed, you’re the most exhausted.
Take a break, as insane as that may sound. Clear your schedule and request the distance you require from your family. Take a break for yourself, even if it is only for two hours.
You must concentrate on yourself for the sake of those around you. You must manage your emotions. ‘It’s like carrying a shallow pitcher of water about your entire life,’ says Sarah Wilson, author of the I Quit Sugar 8-week Detox Program. You must keep this dish of water-stable so that it does not spill around. Because it usually splatters all over your family. And when that happens, you have to work hard to fill it back up.
4. Figure out why you’ve lost your zeal and get off the hamster wheel.
Millions upon thousands of thoughts pass through our minds every day. And if we take the time to look at them, we’ll notice that many of them are reruns of the same story. But ruminating for so long is taxing!
Begin to notice your ideas and, if necessary, write them down. You’ll discover that you’re reliving unsolved issues with no end in sight. These difficulties must be addressed. Ignoring them would just allow these unresolved concerns to fester and worsen.
It is worthwhile to devote time and effort to analyzing and defining these fundamental challenges. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings, whether they are angry, sad, fearful, or annoyed. It’s the only way to clear your mind.
Once you’ve discovered the source of the problem, try to devise a solution if at all possible. Then take measures to correct it. Only then will you be able to get off the hamster wheel and rediscover your love for life.
5. Take stock of your blessings
When you start feeling sorry for yourself, remind yourself of all the things you have to be thankful for. When you are depressed, your brain magnifies the ‘bad’ things in your life. But if you start counting your blessings, you’ll find that life isn’t all that horrible, and in fact, it’s probably very nice.
Consider how far you’ve come, and your life will begin to feel less dreary.
Were you truly happy when you ‘didn’t have a care in the world and could do all the things you used to do? Most likely not. You may have filtered just the positive aspects and overlooked the despair, loneliness, and emptiness.
I would give my life for the sake of my family. Without them, I wouldn’t know what to do. What am I going to whine about?
Recognize that losing your zeal for life is a very normal part of life. Nothing is wrong with you. Give yourself plenty of grace, and when you need it, reach out and ask for assistance.
Finally, realize that simply understanding why you’ve lost your zest for life isn’t enough. For anything to change, you must take action. Not all of the strategies listed above will work for everyone, but incorporating some of these behaviors into your life can help you recover your zest for life and perhaps stop losing it as frequently.
Do you have any additional suggestions for rekindling your enthusiasm for life? We eagerly await your response!